It's definitely a buzzword and people throw it around left and right that they're grateful for their job or family or whatever...and it's often followed by the vomit-inducing #blessed. Right?!?!
Here's the thing - true gratitude is more than just knowing you have it better than 98% of the world. It's more than hearing someone's inspirational speech and being caught up in the moment and making a list of things you're grateful for.
Don't get me wrong, I've done these things. And yes, I'm thankful for what we do have...because 10 years ago I prayed to be where we're at right now.
But...true gratitude isn't just a thought - it's something that moves through you, something that can even inspire that next step.
True gratitude is this inexplicable energy that you feel moving through you when something happens that you've been praying for - or manifesting. It's that feeling when someone you knew always had your back takes their support game to the next level and helps you with a struggle.
This morning started out like shit. Honestly, it did. But I'm still grateful - not for how it started, but for what happened after that.
The first email I read today - a one liner - that two years ago would have lead me to roll my eyes, click delete, and move on with my day - brought me to tears.
I sat there, trying to do my work, and this one sentence kept ringing over and over in my head. I felt like a failure, like a fraud, like I couldn't do anything right.
Logically, I know all of this is false. But...it's hard to be logical when anxiety is hanging out right next to you reinforcing these fleeting thoughts and bringing them to the forefront of your mind - and not being quiet about it by any means.
I heard my husband start down the stairs and I wiped my eyes. There was no reason to ruin his day because I took an email the wrong way.
He grabbed his coffee and came over to me for our morning hug and kiss and I broke down. Tears running, snot sniffling, wiping the make up off with my sleeves, as I explained to him why.
We talked about the appropriate way to move forward in the situation and then he asked me, "Do you want me to grab coffee before we start school for the kids?"
Yes..yes...oh my God, yes…
He hugged me, finished getting ready, and made the coffee run.
All day he made sure I was okay.
He supported me when I needed to rant. He offered a different point of view when I was verbalizing how I wanted to handle the situation. He hugged me when I needed it, and he did his best to keep the kids quiet so I could handle the situation on a phone call without interruption.
I'm grateful for my husband because he's seen what I can do both in business and in our family - and he knows that, when anxiety isn't in the driver's seat and when depression isn't peaking around the corner, that I'm a force to be reckoned with.
He knows how much people underestimate me - my knowledge, my drive, my ambition, and my talents.
And even when I'm caught up in the moment, even when I seemingly dismiss his suggestions (I do listen & file them away...sometimes I'm a little stubborn and don't take his advice right away), he still supports me. He still listens to me bitch even though he just wants to roll his eyes at me.
I'm grateful to have a husband who knows when I need a break, when I need coffee, and when I need ice cream (all of which were needed today). I'm grateful that, even on our bad days, weeks, and sometimes even months, that I can say I have a husband who will have my back when he sees me wavering.
And, with tired eyes and a slight headache, and a million things to do, I wanted to make sure that I took the appropriate amount of time to make sure he knew how much what he did today meant to me. And I wanted you to know it too.
Now, I don't know what or who you're grateful for, you're welcome to share if you'd like, but just know that even in the bleakest moments, even in the moments when it seems like everything's going to shit, I can guarantee you can dig deep and find something that will fill you with gratitude & give you that energy to keep pushing forward and keep showing up.