Are You Feeling Like You Want To Give Up, Mama
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months, where you’re just over it all? When you feel like giving up?
But then reality smacks you upside the head and reminds you that you’re a mom, a wife, an employee, a leader, a friend...and you can’t. You need to keep going.
You know this feeling and you don’t know how to fix it.
Hey mama, if you’re new here, WELCOME!! I’m so glad you’re here! This post isn’t super long, but I know with kids, co-workers, pets, husbands around it can be hard to concentrate. If you want to take in the information easily, click above for the audio, I want to make it easy for you to take something away from this post. And, if you do want to read it, share this on your Facebook, pin it to one of your Pinterest boards, or even just save the link to the home screen on your phone.
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Mama, if you’ve been here, or you’re here now, please know it doesn’t need to stay this way.
Please know that this feeling is your mind’s way, you’re heart’s way, you’re body’s way of telling you to re-evaluate what you’re saying yes to and where you’re spending your time.
There is something you can do to make a change, a positive change, and stop this feeling from happening again. So let’s get to the bottom of this and get it all sorted out.
Our Routines and Our Habits
Let’s talk about this really quick because our routines and habits are the foundation of this feeling.
What is your routine? What do you do daily and who do you do it for? Does any of it bring you any pleasure, happiness, or satisfaction?
Take a minute, either now or at the end of the post to really think about this. Bonus if you take the time to write it out.
Are your mornings spent getting everyone else ready for the day and you may spend minimal time on yourself.
Your day at work is spent figuring out how to meet the expectations of customers, management, co-workers. I mean, that’s your job, right?
What do you do on your lunch? Are you running errands, making phone calls, handling the problems of other people who you feel the need to take care of? Or are you allowing yourself time to decompress, regroup, and come at the afternoon with a new attitude?
What about after work? You’re focused on everyone else again, aren’t you?
We are often in survival mode, we just keep going to get through whatever season of life we’re in. We need to get to the next season and if we stop for a second, for any reason, during this season it might break us.
We can’t think about it...any of it. Because if we do, we might question ourselves and what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. And it wouldn’t be right to question any of it, right?
And any new shit that comes at us, we just slide it into an empty slot in the schedule and take care of that too. Why not??
Even though each of our lives is very different, we all still fall into routines and habits that serve others more than we serve ourselves. And this is where we’re all more alike than we realize.
We can carry on like this for a long time; weeks, months, and even years sometimes.
In fact, some of us actually like operating at mach10 with our hair on fire. It makes us feel good to be needed, to feel significant in the lives of others.
These routines and habits are often created, mindlessly, because we operate based on the expectations of what other people think we should be doing.
Think about it.
What are your expectations of what you want your life, your family’s life, to look like?
Are you living that? Or are you living by other people’s expectations?
Are you running ragged on weekends and days off because you “have to” help friends or family with certain tasks EVERY.DAMNED.WEEK?
Do you spend your lunch hours trying to fix the problems of those you care about? Maybe you’re calling to straighten out bills for them because they can’t do it themselves, for whatever reason. Maybe you play counselor regularly during your lunch hour to talk a friend or relative down from whatever emotional rollercoaster they’re on today.
Do you spend your mornings getting kids, pets, and sometimes husbands, set up for the day. Is everyone fed? Is everyone’s lunch made? Are you settling arguments in the morning about who is taking up more space on the couch? Does everyone know how much we love them? Do all the backpacks have all the necessary contents for the day?
Evenings too...are you always doing things so that no one else is overwhelmed, so that no one else has to struggle with anything, so that no one you care about feels bad about anything?
We take on more and more and more daily. Well, it’s probably more accurate to say we take on more and more and more by the hour.
So, take another minute to re-evaluate. Are you living by your expectations? Or are you living by someone else’s? If it’s someone else’s...whose expectations are you living your life by? Why?
We Keep Saying Yes
And this is the why behind that feeling of wanting to give up.
We take on more than we can handle and we refuse to admit it. Because we are all super-mom. And admitting we can’t fit something in, telling someone we can’t help them, we think it’s a sign of weakness. If we can’t handle everything, what’s wrong with us?
You were not created to solve all of the world’s problems every day.
You were created for a purpose, and only you know what that purpose is. Maybe you knew it once, and you lost it for a while. Maybe you’ve always known it and it frustrates you that you may not be living that purpose.
So you keep saying yes, because you don’t know what else to do, and one day your break down in tears after the kids go to bed.
Mascara running down your face, snot running down your nose, wiping your face, sniffling, your husband or best friend barely understanding anything you’re saying because you can’t catch your breath.
I was there...I threw my hands up many times and said “F-it, I’m done.”
But I wasn’t done. I sulked and I complained. But I was never done. I didn’t make any changes. I would suck it up, because I thought I had to, and then a few months later I would experience the same thing again.
So...what can we do to stop this feeling of frustration? This feeling of overwhelm? This feeling like, if we can’t get it all done, screw it, we’re not going to do any of it?
That’s it mama...you need to take care of you and your little family first. The rest of it, everyone else’s “stuff”, is secondary.
If you need help with this, if you need to talk it out with someone, please reach out. I’m happy to chat with you and get you in the right direction. The direction of less stress and a more enjoyable life.
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I hope you have an amazing day, and I want you to know...you’ve totally got this!
Hey, I'm Natalie and I'm an author, a wife, and mom of two kids and two dogs.
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