So, you’ve had the conversation, you and your significant other have decided whose job has more potential and who needs to concentrate on their career right now, and it’s not you.
You’re the supporter now. How do you handle this?
Maybe, so far, it’s your job that’s been the concentration.
Maybe you’re the one who has, essentially, been a workaholic.
How do you make this transition?
What do you do to be the support system without letting your performance at your job slip?
That really is the key, isn’t it? You still want to perform well at your job, but it’s not going to be your day-and-night focus anymore.
Mama, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME!! I am so thankful that you stopped by....I know that sounds corny, but it's the truth. I am on a mission to HELP and CHANGE the working mom community and if I can help one person (you) for even just five minutes, then I'm successful - and I am grateful for that opportunity! I'd love it if you checked out my other blog posts - I've linked to another one below. Let me know what you think, I'd love to chat!
Hopefully you’ve already discussed what’s expected of you in your position at work.
From here, if any of that includes travel or long hours, you are going to have to have a conversation with the appropriate people at your place of business (ie. your supervisor) and let him/her know that at this time you won’t be able to travel, work 12+ hour days, etc.
And you should be upfront as to why.
What I suggest is saying something that explains your significant other has supported you with your career goals thus far and right now it’s your turn to be the support system for him/her.
It’s a very simple statement and, honestly, who can really argue with that? Well, I’m sure some could, but with companies becoming more “family friendly”, it probably isn’t the norm any more.
From here, you need to plan, schedule, and as I mentioned previously, increase your communication.
Planning even has to come down to the most minute detail of what time everyone has to wake up, how long it takes everyone to get ready, how long it takes to make lunches, etc.
Now, I don’t suggest timing everything to the “T” because that will just make you crazy, but knowing how long morning activities take, and having a contingency plan if you oversleep or if something throws off your morning, this is going to be your saving grace when your partner has to leave the house 30 minutes to an hour earlier than normal.
Because it gives you a time cushion
What's this time cushion I'm speaking of
Having a plan will make everyone’s morning go a little more smoothly. And, when the morning goes smoothly, the rest of the day is more likely to follow suit, and your evening won’t be as stressful.
You also need to mentally prepare yourself for this journey
And the other thing you’ll need to keep in mind is other people, more specifically, you may need to disregard the negative comments that some people may have.
Comments such as “You do everything, what does s/he do?” or “Are you sure s/he is just working late?”
Because let’s face it, the world is full of people who just cannot see the positive in things, and they cannot for the life of them understand that couples communicate and have plans and work towards goals together, and they cannot imagine a relationship where each partner gives their all in whatever areas each is focusing on at the moment.
And lastly, because there will be days where you just want to break down, where you just won’t want to do it anymore, you need to schedule time for you.
This could be simply going to the store by yourself for an hour, or taking a bath, or going to the library to read a book or concentrate on something you need to do.
Anything that you will feel fulfilled in doing, you must make time for yourself.
Because if you don’t, there will only be anger and resentment to follow, and that puts you in a whole other ball game both professionally and personally.
Where else can you connect with me? Where else can you get more ideas for dealing with this working mom life? Where else can you find others who have similar problems and where can you find solutions.
Email...shoot me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org with "email me" in the subject line and I'll hook you up! There's a lot that happens in the emails...so you want to be in on them.
FB Group - The Working Mom Partnership - look us up and request to join - it' a no drama, no nonsense group where we support each other to the fullest extent possible.
FB Page @thepowerswillbe
I'll catch up with you soon!!
Hey, I'm Natalie and I'm an author, a wife, and mom of two kids and two dogs.
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