So, remember the person (or people) who told you that you weren't cut out for something?
Did you accomplish what they said you couldn't? If not, are you at least working towards achieving that goal? What lit your fire, most likely, was negative motivation.
Have you heard of this term? Negative motivation? Seems like a hokey term, right?
Like, motivation is motivation, isn't it? But it's really not. Let me explain...a lot of people use negative motivation when setting and achieving goals. It can be a good "fire starter" so to speak, but it's not a really good way to maintain your focus. Negative motivation is when, while working on your goals, you're trying to prove someone wrong. So, given my last post about people saying you're not cut out for whatever task, in that situation negative motivation is often the trigger for us to get in gear.
Before we go any further...
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But, here's the thing with negative motivation.
It triggers other negativity; negative thoughts and behaviors, which then breed a life of bitterness and jealousy and revenge.
Don't believe me? Let me ask you this...if you're constantly thinking about how you're going to prove that person wrong, how are you focusing on any of the good in your life?
Don't tell me there's nothing good; you just have to change your focus. So, having a little bit of "prove them wrong" in the beginning is fine, but what about the motivation that comes with seeing your own progress?
When you have negative thoughts, your negative behaviors start to surface; there's a link between how we think and how we act.
So if you start harvesting this negativity, odds are you'll pick up, or allow to resurface, some negative habits. Emotion eating/binge eating, complaining about everything, smoking, drinking, avoidance of exercise, avoidance of the positive people in your life. Eventually this path will only lead you to fail. Why maintain that level of negativity?
Allow it to fuel you for five minutes, but then, move on. Look at what you've done so far.
Having a sense of pride in what you're creating or accomplishing is so much more encouraging and leads to so much more curiosity, ideas, and knowledge.
Why hamper all that by focusing on the negative all the time?
How did it feel reading those two phrases? I'm sure it didn't feel good; when I wrote them I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
But when we think the opposite, when we think of all that we've accomplished, all that we have planned to accomplish, when we really look at where we were not too long ago versus where we are now....isn't that much more motivating than trying to prove someone wrong all the time? Doesn't that breed excitement and vision and opportunity? I think so.
And sure, you may have the occasional, "Ha! I told you I could!" moment. But let that moment be just that, a moment. Not the way you live your life. There's enough negativity being broadcast in the world. Why not create and maintain the positivity and possibility in your own world?
So, use that, "I'll show them," attitude to get you started. But dump it far, far away very soon after. Create the thoughts of, "Look what I did," and "Wow, I'm proud of myself," and "Look at the legacy I'm going to leave by doing this," instead.
So, what are you doing with your negative motivation?
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Hey, I'm Natalie and I'm an author, a wife, and mom of two kids and two dogs.
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