Self care...what do you think of when you think of self care?
Do you think of manicures, pedicures, massages, and hair appointments?
That’s one way to think about it for sure.
I’m here to help you expand and redefine what self care is for you because we don’t always have time or budget for manicures, pedicures, massages and hair appointments.
If you’re new here, first of all...WELCOME! I am SO happy you found me and I’m excited to be able to connect! I’ve linked a previous blog post below that I think may interest you. Check it out and let me know what you think!
Now, back to self care.
There is a whole...what’s the word I’m looking for...dynamic??
That working moms don’t have time for self care. That working moms need to have the “go-go-go” mentality all the time. That working moms need to be on edge all the time.
If you’re not stressed to the max, if you don’t martyr yourself, if you’re relaxed, and if you choose self care, then there must be something wrong with you because...why don’t you conform?
I’m here to tell you that self care doesn’t need to be costly and it doesn’t need to take a lot of time, either.
Self care should be personalized to you, for you, by you.
And it needs to be altered based on the season you’re in.
Now, I don’t necessarily mean spring/summer/winter/fall when I say seasons, although those can most definitely impact what type of self care you choose. I mean, who wants to go for a run or take a walk when the Real Feel temperature is -20? Not me...that’s for sure.
When I talk about seasons, I’m talking about where you are in your life right now.
What season could you be in
All of these, and more, are the various situations that can be considered different seasons you could be in.
Here’s the thing
A mom who’s new to her job but has kids who are a little older is going to need different self care than a new mom who is mostly established in her career already.
Someone who needs to help out in caring for elderly family members, in addition to caring for their kids may need to focus on emotional self care rather than physical at the moment.
So, mama, what season are you in right now? One of these? Something else entirely?
Head to the bottom of the post and tell me, or head over to the socials and hit me up over there!
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you!
Now that we’ve talked about seasons, let’s talk about self care.
Self care is something you do for you that makes you feel full. It’s that simple.
For whatever reason, we are made to believe that self care needs to be costly and time consuming.
We’re also made to feel a bit guilty when we focus on ourselves.
Whether that comes from others or from that little voice inside our heads, we hear, among other things…
“You don’t have time for this.”
“You should be putting this time/effort/money towards your kids/husband/pets.”
“You’re being selfish.”
I’m here to tell you, mama, that self care is as simple as
There’s much more than just these four things, in fact these are just the tip of the iceberg.
If you’ve read enough so far that you understand you need self care and that you need to re-frame your idea of self care, check out the eBook I released.
Every day self care tips for the busy working mom; 21 days to better balance and more self care
It’s not a book that’s going to tell you “do this today” or “do that tomorrow” or “you must spend X amount of time on yourself daily.”
That’s not what it’s all about, that’s not what I’m all about, and I know that it’s not what you’re all about.
This book is YOUR CUSTOMIZED SELF CARE PLAN for the next 21 days.
I guide you, but what you choose to do, how you choose to do it and when you choose to do it, that’s all on you.
Because as much as we have in common as working moms, we don’t have the same schedules, our jobs don’t require the same level of engagement, and our families don’t all need us in the same way.
Need to convince that little voice inside your head that you’re worth it?
I don’t know when it started, maybe it’s always been, but women...and especially working moms...tend to martyr themselves. Some more often than others and some to a very unhealthy extreme...but we’re not talking about that.
We tell ourselves that everyone else is more important than us. We tell ourselves that we MUST give up EVERYTHING for the happiness of our families.
And, while you may not say it to your husband or your kids, you think about it every now and then. And you may even talk with a girlfriend about it...you know the one who you can be 100% candid with and she just “gets it” without judgement?
We think things like…
I know there are a million other things we say to ourselves on the daily that make us feel good and bad about ourselves at the same time.
We want to do things for everyone else; it makes us feel good to be able to help others and make them feel good. And, on the flip side, we then make ourselves feel like shit because we look in the mirror and don’t like that we’ve let our roots grow out so much, so we blame it on the fact that we’re doing ALL.THE.THINGS.
Well, if you’re not doing self care, you’re not doing ALL.THE.THINGS.
Mama, I get it. I get it 100%.
Let me tell you something, there was a time before kids when I made a comment that I wasn’t happy unless I was going Mach10 with my hair on fire.
What did I mean by that?
I have always wanted to do everything for everyone. I’ve always managed to keep a busy schedule. I’ve always felt good helping others, no matter what effect it had on my own schedule, or my health for that matter.
And I went into parenthood with that same mindset. I was busy and busy made me happy. But busy made me neglect myself. I felt like shit and, to be vain about it, I looked like shit too.
Coming from a background in makeup and skincare, every time I looked in the mirror I would scrutinize my enlarged pores, my dehydration lines, the lack of shape to my brows, the roots coming through my last color.
(A little tidbit about me...I have always LOVED hair and makeup and at one point that was a career goal...I’ve worked at some prestigious cosmetic counters, gotten a ridiculous amount of training in skincare and makeup, and even worked for one of the biggest network marketing companies in the makeup industry).
So, after I was done being critical of myself for how I looked, I felt like garbage. And I would set out on a new “project” to help other people...instead of setting out on a new project to help myself.
And the cycle would just repeat.
Annnndddd then feel like shit about myself again because I was exhausted and I wasn’t spending any time on myself.
So, mama, I encourage you to take time for yourself.
Figure out where in your day you can fit it in and DO IT. Seriously…
If not for yourself, if not for your own happiness, then do it for your family. They deserve the best version of you.
And the best version of you isn’t the one who dreads how her makeup looks, how her hair looks, how her clothes fit.
The best version of you isn’t the one who’s so freaking tired at the end of the day from doing everything for everyone else that you don’t even make it to the kids bedtime before you fall asleep on the couch.
The best version of you isn’t the one who is running ragged and ignoring the signals her body is sending her to slow down, so you end up with a terrible flu or upper respiratory infection.
The best version of you is the version who takes time to find funny shapes in the clouds. (when do we stop doing this? why do we stop doing this??)
The best version of you is the version who watches a YouTube video during lunch by your favorite inspirational speaker.
The best version of you is the version who can snuggle with the kids on the couch before bed, watching their favorite cartoon or listening to them tell you about what happened at school.
The best version of you is the version who steps outside, after that unbearable hour and a half long meeting, just to reclaim your thoughts and your breath and your energy.
The best version of you is the version who makes a choice to take care of herself in little increments during the day so that you never don’t feel like yourself ever again.
So, mama...whaddya say?
Are you in the self care game with me?
Are you ready to be the best version of you...for you...for your kids...for your husband...for your job?
I’d love it if you shared this article on the socials with your friends.
I’d also really love to hear from you. What are you struggling with? What can I help with?
Comment below, subscribe to the blog, head over to the socials and DM me.
I’m here for you!!
Hey, I'm Natalie and I'm an author, a wife, and mom of two kids and two dogs.
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