As you have probably noticed by now, the bulk of my blogs are about being a working mom, specifically about being
a working mom in a Corporate environment. But, in a good number of them I also reiterate that whether you’re a mom who works outside the home, a mom who works from home, or a stay at home mom, that you are doing exactly what you were meant to do, regardless of what other people think.
Often I discuss how working moms feel left out, or have all of this ridiculous pressure they put on themselves. And here’s the thing...stay at home moms have this too.
It’s because we’re women, it’s because we hold ourselves to this ridiculously high standard, one that is pretty often unattainable. It’s how most of us are wired.
If you’re new here, WELCOME! I would love if you checked out my other blog posts. I’ve linked one of them below and I would LOVE it if you shared any of them with your peeps!
I was part of a discussion in a Facebook group the other day and one of the moms was mom-shamed for being a stay at home mom. This other woman said to her that she seemed too put together and too smart to be a stay at home mom.
WHOA! PUMP THE BREAKS CHICK! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??
Now, the woman who received this criticism was very gracious and slightly comedic in her answer and I admire that to no end because, quite honestly, if I was the recipient of any kind of mom shaming, my initial reaction would be daggers shooting from my eyeballs, fire would stream from my mouth and I would give the other person a piece of my mind, foul language included.
I know this because, well, it’s happened.
The reason I cater specifically to working moms is because...well, quite frankly, being a mom, especially in a Corporate environment, is a bitch.
This isn’t to say much of what I say isn’t relatable to all moms, it isn’t even saying that this isn’t relatable to dads, hell, it isn’t even saying that this isn’t relatable to those without children who may be in a period of their life where they need some support.
But, being a working mom in a Corporate environment, being the woman who was told she was “too emotional”, being the woman who was assumed to have no other skills except to manage inventory and schedules (that conversation will be part of a blog post eventually), and being the woman who finally figured out how to deal with it all without driving herself effing crazy, and wondering what life could have been like if I would have figured it out sooner, I feel I have this calling to help the working mom community.
Ultimately I want to change how the corporate world sees parents and I want to eliminate the whole “versus” mentality. And I will...and I hope you’ll help me.
Being a stay at home mom takes a certain amount of patience, a certain mindset, and a certain set of skills that most people just don’t understand.
Listen, some women are better moms by staying at home and some are better moms by working and some are better doing the work-from-home thing. And I admire the women who can dedicate themselves to being a stay at home mom because it’s hella hard to listen to these tiny little dictators all day and teach them and mold them and love them. It’s hard when the people you deal with most of the day don’t have a fully formed vocabulary, they don’t know quite how to control their emotions yet, and all they want all day is YOU.
Personally, I am one of those moms who doesn’t naturally have a lot of patience. This is why I envy, so much, those who don’t flip their shit on their kids. It has taken me A LOT of work to not be THAT mom...if I’m being honest (always...sometimes to a fault) I hated myself for being THAT mom. So...if you are the mom who loses it from time to time, I understand...and I’m here for you.
Overcoming my lack of patience and managing my reactions with my kids was a HUGE breakthrough for me...and I want to share it with you.
Click below to get the 7 Day Calm Mom Challenge
Now let’s look at a couple of things about stay at home moms and working moms...
Traits of the stay at home mom
Traits of the working mom
Wait...a lot of those are the same traits…or almost the same...
Yes, they are, and there are so many more, but this would be an endless blog post if I sat and wrote about everything.
Here’s the thing
Mom shaming is bullshit.
Plain and simple.
There is no reason for any of us to think we are better or worse than any other mom.
We are doing exactly what we are meant to do at this moment. And at any given moment, what we’re doing can change.
We are all on our individual journeys and we need to support each other in that.
What can we do to stop mom shaming?
It is oh-so tempting to sit here and suggest that you put her (it’s usually a her, let’s be honest) in her place and essentially take your toys and stomp off the playground huffing and puffing like a mis-mannered five year old
But getting angry (ala daggers from the eyes and fire breathing) isn’t really going to solve anything.
So, when you hear someone talking about that mom who “looks too put together” to be a stay at home mom, or that mom who looks like she hasn’t yet showered today and couldn’t possibly be a “Director of whatever”, say something.
Because that’s how you’re going to make her jaw drop.
THAT is how you’ll encourage change.
THAT is how you’ll BE THE CHANGE.
Tell whoever is doing the shaming that the mom who doesn’t look the part of “stay at home” and that the mom who you’ve never seen before because she’s always working and looks like a complete mess today… they are both enjoying their lives the way they played out for them...and they’re struggling with things too, things that, quite honestly, could possibly make anyone else curl up into the fetal position in the corner.
Here’s to all of us mamas…
Work at home moms
Stay at home moms
We are all crushing it, as much as sometimes we feel we’re failing…
One more thing…
I want to hear your thoughts on this topic and I’ve got a few ways to do this.
Now go out there and support each other!
Hey, I'm Natalie and I'm an author, a wife, and mom of two kids and two dogs.
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